Modern Country Chic
A few years ago, a new home decor trend surfaced that brought new purpose to cotton. Pinterest boards and stores like Pier 1 Imports proudly displayed and advertised faux cotton plants as a way to add warmth and texture to the aspiring HGTV host’s Modern Country Chic home.
Now, I had no idea this trend existed until I did.
It was nearing the holiday season when my boss invited her team of directors to her home for a planning retreat. Her home was beautiful. I expected nothing less, as she carried herself with a level of grace, confidence and assuredness. One thing I most appreciated about her leadership was her ability to manage her exposure to others. She was incredibly skilled at building relationships and helping her team members feel heard and valued. I also learned that her ability to hone this skill gave her the insight she needed for effective persuasion and personal gain.
Nonetheless, I had a lot to learn from her and was excited to see her home.
When I entered her home, I was greeted by tall ceilings and stone white walls. Immediately, I smelled breakfast. Walking into the kitchen, I noticed how everything had a place and appropriate setting.
Perfection.
As a well-groomed host, she offered warm and cold drinks. When I opted for water, I turned to dispense it from the refrigerator and there it was, more perfection.
This time, it was the intentional placement of holiday cards on the refrigerator showcasing the host of family and friends in her life. I naturally glanced at each photo and smiled as I saw an array of red, green, glitter, ornaments and white people. All of them were white people. I was surprised. She would often talk about the importance of our work in service of black and brown people, but it did not appear that there were any black or brown people in her life.
While I recognize this is a stretch because I made this conclusion from holiday cards, it is important to note that black and brown people also mail holiday cards to family and friends.
I digress.
Following breakfast at the kitchen table, we were escorted to her family room for more comfortable seating to begin the work that needed to get done.
When we entered the room, my fellow colleagues and I made remarks of fondness for her decorating skills, and as I sat down on her plush white couch, I noticed a vase of what appeared to be cotton plants on an end table.
I froze.
I don’t think anyone noticed though because I quickly gathered myself. This quick adjustment was something I was taught early on in life. Remember Brittany?
Following the triggered brush with a history I’ve only experienced remnants of, I quickly took out my phone and began sending texts of “you won’t believe what my boss has in her home!” The responses were filled with “wtf, you better believe it, why are you surprised?”
I was surprised because I didn’t know people decorated their homes with cotton, especially people who talked about the importance of equity in America.
White privilege took the stage the moment my eyes met cotton.
Peggy McIntosh (1989) shares that white privilege is an invisible package of unearned assets in which white people can count on cashing in each day. and through the description and acknowledgement of white privilege comes a new level of accountability.
I’m not sure my boss saw her white privilege. Her blind eye to the historic landmark cotton has in American history contributed to my feelings of isolation and otherness in that moment.
After further reflection, I realized the leadership characteristics she so comfortably embodied were also rooted in white privilege. This included coy smiles she’d make in business meetings and turning a blind eye to unconventional organizational practices.
In that moment, it was not my role to inform my boss that her personal choices were triggering and conflicted with what she claimed her professional values to be. My role was to gather my emotions, fully participate and show up with contributions that would help further our organization’s mission. It didn’t matter that the collision of personal and professional values was at play. It also didn’t matter that the skills I admired in her were skills that I would not be able to embody. Because while I hold a lot of privilege in my life, white isn’t one of them.
So to all of my novice home decorators in the world, I challenge you to take a second glance at your personal surroundings and notice if the values you say you hold show up on display in your most private spaces.
McIntosh, Peggy. (1989). White privilege: unpacking the invisible knapsack. Peace and Freedom. Retrieved from https://psychology.umbc.edu/files/2016/10/White-Privilege_McIntosh-1989.pdf
